There's a secret to finding true love.
I was on a quest to find my soul mate in my 20s and early 30s. And I just wouldn’t settle for less. And I didn’t. I did meet my soul mate, and we have been married for almost five years. His name is Lior.
You may be taken aback that I call Lior 'my soul mate'. Not everyone believes that there is a special someone destined for one other person. I have always believed in some form of soul mates long before I met him. Then when I did finally meet him, I knew it was true, at least for me. It was a simple feeling, a very strong one actually, that I had only felt with him. I now call it intuition.
The path to finding him wasn’t an easy one though. When you’re like me and the millions of us out there who have diabetes, finding that special someone, a soul mate, a person to spend your life with, a partner, can be quite a stressful experience. I know that finding the love of your life is stressful for many people with or without diabetes. It isn’t easy to find the needle in the haystack that fits you just right. In my case, as a diabetic, I went into the search with a lot of baggage; some even see it as a stigma.
I often pondered: When do I tell a guy I’m dating that life with me will come with restrictions? With added expenses, continuous trips to doctors, and finger pricks? When do I tell him about diabetic complications? When do I tell him that life with me will require a lot of him?
So, I hid. I didn’t want to scare off potential suitors before we even had a chance to get to know each other. I still went on dates, but I found other ways to keep my secret. I avoided wearing an insulin pump for years. I would choose the times for meetings carefully. Sometimes hiding the diabetes would get ugly. I remember one guy told me I was rude because I didn't want to join him for dinner at 8 or 9 pm. I didn't feel like explaining before I was ready. He clearly wasn't the right guy for me, but it still didn't feel good.
Then one day, actually January 13, 2002, I met this guy, an Israeli soldier who had seen the world and then some. His worldliness and confidence won me over immediately. He had been through a lot as a soldier and citizen of a war-torn nation, and so in my mind, I assumed that a little diabetes wasn’t so scary in comparison with bombs and missiles. He had seen poverty in his travels, and experienced life and death situations more than once. I believe he had already learned how to value living, being in the moment, before I had gotten there myself.
We were already dating for about three months when we decided to go away together for a weekend to Puerto Rico. We were walking along the cobblestone streets of Old San Juan when I began to feel a bit funny. My sugar was going low. Lior had already known that I had diabetes at that point, but thus far, it hadn’t really been an issue or topic of conversation. The diabetes hadn’t impeded our dates. It had been a simple ‘for your information’. Now, the diabetes came to the forefront. It was going to sidetrack our fun for a little while. How was he going to react?
I had to stop. I couldn’t push past it or keep it hidden from him, and so I let him know, “I think my sugar is going low.”
“So what should we do?” he asked.
“I need to sit and check my sugar.”
Lior searched for a seat, and he led me to a table with a couple of chairs outside on the sidewalk to check my blood sugar. The glucometer showed that my sugar was in fact low; it was around 57, a scary number. I didn’t have sugar with me, or I couldn’t find it in my purse.
He must have noticed that I was freaking out, getting all tense and nervous, because he asked, “Do you need anything?”
“Can you get me some orange juice?”
“There’s a kiosk over there. I’ll be right back.” He went, bought the OJ, and returned within seconds. Then he sat with me until my sugar returned to normal, “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine in 15 or 20 minutes.” His only concern was for me.
As I sat there checking and waiting for my sugar to climb back to normal, I observed him as well. And after I finished beating myself up for not bringing sugar with me, I noticed that he didn’t run away! Not that he had much choice at that moment, but he didn’t fly off or jump in the sea.
So wait a minute here, I was totally diabetic. You can’t get more diabetic than a low blood sugar, and he didn’t run away? It probably took me a few days to digest: I was able to be myself, and it turned out more than okay. I didn’t have to hide or pretend to be something or someone that I’m not.
The secret to finding true love is to simply be me.
I’m sure that there are many who bring baggage to many tables, just as I have. My belief: Get rid of whatever is holding you back, de-clutter, and turn self-created fears into love. Self-love.
When you live authentically, accepting and loving yourself for you who you are, all the parts and pieces whether perceived as good or bad, showing the world the real you, true love prevails. And that's a secret worth sharing.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
What healthcare reform means to me
I never thought I’d see the day where healthcare reform might actually pass the Senate. Quite frankly, I am holding back from getting too excited, dreaming of a world where we can all receive affordable, accessible, quality healthcare. I am a bit fearful of what may or may not be behind that 2,700 page legislation which the majority of Americans have not read, including me. But mostly, I am holding back because there is still a chance that it may not pass all the way (hello Joe).
But the dream is still there, waiting to be realized. Could it really be happening this week?
AS A DIABETIC
As a diabetic, I have been weighed down by the challenges of obtaining headache free coverage since I can remember. My parents, husband, and I have spent many a long, agonizing phone call arguing with health insurance company representatives regarding coverage of treatments and obtaining necessary pharmaceuticals. And even worse, and so embarrassing, writing statements on preexisting conditions for health insurance companies to examine and analyze.
I have so many painful stories on this topic. Here’s just one: I lived abroad in Israel for three years and was denied coverage of my diabetic care when I returned to the United States. Why? Because I couldn’t prove that I had continuous coverage under an American insurance company while I was there. I had been covered by Israeli health insurance. So I was informed that I had to wait a year until my diabetic care would be covered. The only way to obtain coverage would be under an employer’s healthcare plan. I had just come back to the United States. I hadn’t found a job yet. And when I did find a job, I had to wait three months to be eligible.
Diabetes doesn’t care about waiting periods, preexisting conditions, and continuous coverage. It doesn’t just go away because it’s inconvenient for the insurance companies.
What I couldn’t understand was – why? What if a person loses their job - and cobra is too expensive – because well, they lost their job? What if a person does go abroad for a valuable, educational, life-changing experience and needs to find a job when they return? Should we all stay put, not move, not explore, not leave a job or look for a new one, for fear of denial of healthcare coverage? Aren’t we one of the wealthiest countries in the world? Aren’t we all about freedom here in America? I had been covered under American health insurance my entire life, but because I moved abroad, I couldn’t receive coverage of preexisting conditions when I returned.
Huh?
I just didn’t get it, and quite frankly, I was embarrassed. It made me feel that the country where I was born, raised, educated, worked, lived didn’t care if I lived or died. Because I cost too much to keep alive?
As a diabetic, health insurance is necessary and essential. I’m insulin dependent. The costs involved in maintaining my health are astronomical. Prescriptions. Doctors. Tests. The insurance companies know better than I do how much this disease costs a month, let alone a year.
Without the medications, without the proper care, I could and probably would go blind, risk losing limbs, my sense of touch, kidney function. Synthetic insulin and all its paraphernalia are what keep me alive…and allow me to live.
HOW ABOUT THE REST OF US?
So, okay, why should the rest of you care? Why should American taxpayers care? Here’s what it boils down to: Is access to affordable, quality healthcare a right or a privilege?
Well, the first and most obvious reason we all should care is basic human compassion. We are all human. And we all have one thing in common. We will all die one day. Some of us may unfortunately undergo illnesses along the way. Some of us may be so lucky to never have a need for a doctor, hospital, or medical procedure. It’s doubtful though. Shouldn’t we all, irrelevant of earnings and workplace, receive the same opportunity to be healthy? Shouldn’t healthcare rank up there with the right to freedom of speech? Of religion? Shouldn’t healthcare be on the same list as the right to a free education? To learn how to read and write? The right to vote?
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services almost 8 percent of the American population has some form of diabetes. And another 57 million have pre-diabetes, meaning they have high blood sugars but not high enough to be called diabetes.
I was in shock when I read these numbers, and instantly thought to myself: These statistics only cover the population with diabetes. How many people in this country are sick? How many have broken a bone? Or received a vaccination? How many inventors, CEOs, teachers, plumbers, firemen, and artists are in need of healthcare? And where would this country be, where would we be as the human race, without them?
And how many potential doctors, lawyers, and teachers haven’t received treatment for an illness because they don’t have access to health insurance?
DARE I SAY PRODUCTIVITY?
Second, for those of you who are still thinking about costs and economics and/or are pretty annoyed that I took time on this blog for grassroots political commentary, a healthy society is a happier, more productive society. Think of how much more efficient and productive people are when they are healthy, and think of how inefficient people can be when feeling under the weather, have a cold, a toothache, depression, poor vision, or even worse.
LIVING A HEALTHY AMERICA
Adequate, accessible, quality healthcare coverage will help make this country….healthy.
So, I’m pretty excited that healthcare reform might pass, despite not knowing all the ins and outs of the actual legislation. I am certain that there are mistakes within those pages. Isn’t that inevitable? I’m sure there will be criticisms from all sides. That’s the power of democracy. But I can't help but go back to the words of the late Ted Kennedy, which were reiterated by his late wife Victoria Reggie Kennedy in Sunday's Washington's Post, “better to get half a loaf than no loaf at all.”
I’m excited because it’s a step in the right direction. It makes me feel like America cares. About me. And the millions of you out there who want to be healthy too.
Let’s care about the people who live amongst us. After all, we’re all human.
But the dream is still there, waiting to be realized. Could it really be happening this week?
AS A DIABETIC
As a diabetic, I have been weighed down by the challenges of obtaining headache free coverage since I can remember. My parents, husband, and I have spent many a long, agonizing phone call arguing with health insurance company representatives regarding coverage of treatments and obtaining necessary pharmaceuticals. And even worse, and so embarrassing, writing statements on preexisting conditions for health insurance companies to examine and analyze.
I have so many painful stories on this topic. Here’s just one: I lived abroad in Israel for three years and was denied coverage of my diabetic care when I returned to the United States. Why? Because I couldn’t prove that I had continuous coverage under an American insurance company while I was there. I had been covered by Israeli health insurance. So I was informed that I had to wait a year until my diabetic care would be covered. The only way to obtain coverage would be under an employer’s healthcare plan. I had just come back to the United States. I hadn’t found a job yet. And when I did find a job, I had to wait three months to be eligible.
Diabetes doesn’t care about waiting periods, preexisting conditions, and continuous coverage. It doesn’t just go away because it’s inconvenient for the insurance companies.
What I couldn’t understand was – why? What if a person loses their job - and cobra is too expensive – because well, they lost their job? What if a person does go abroad for a valuable, educational, life-changing experience and needs to find a job when they return? Should we all stay put, not move, not explore, not leave a job or look for a new one, for fear of denial of healthcare coverage? Aren’t we one of the wealthiest countries in the world? Aren’t we all about freedom here in America? I had been covered under American health insurance my entire life, but because I moved abroad, I couldn’t receive coverage of preexisting conditions when I returned.
Huh?
I just didn’t get it, and quite frankly, I was embarrassed. It made me feel that the country where I was born, raised, educated, worked, lived didn’t care if I lived or died. Because I cost too much to keep alive?
As a diabetic, health insurance is necessary and essential. I’m insulin dependent. The costs involved in maintaining my health are astronomical. Prescriptions. Doctors. Tests. The insurance companies know better than I do how much this disease costs a month, let alone a year.
Without the medications, without the proper care, I could and probably would go blind, risk losing limbs, my sense of touch, kidney function. Synthetic insulin and all its paraphernalia are what keep me alive…and allow me to live.
HOW ABOUT THE REST OF US?
So, okay, why should the rest of you care? Why should American taxpayers care? Here’s what it boils down to: Is access to affordable, quality healthcare a right or a privilege?
Well, the first and most obvious reason we all should care is basic human compassion. We are all human. And we all have one thing in common. We will all die one day. Some of us may unfortunately undergo illnesses along the way. Some of us may be so lucky to never have a need for a doctor, hospital, or medical procedure. It’s doubtful though. Shouldn’t we all, irrelevant of earnings and workplace, receive the same opportunity to be healthy? Shouldn’t healthcare rank up there with the right to freedom of speech? Of religion? Shouldn’t healthcare be on the same list as the right to a free education? To learn how to read and write? The right to vote?
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services almost 8 percent of the American population has some form of diabetes. And another 57 million have pre-diabetes, meaning they have high blood sugars but not high enough to be called diabetes.
I was in shock when I read these numbers, and instantly thought to myself: These statistics only cover the population with diabetes. How many people in this country are sick? How many have broken a bone? Or received a vaccination? How many inventors, CEOs, teachers, plumbers, firemen, and artists are in need of healthcare? And where would this country be, where would we be as the human race, without them?
And how many potential doctors, lawyers, and teachers haven’t received treatment for an illness because they don’t have access to health insurance?
DARE I SAY PRODUCTIVITY?
Second, for those of you who are still thinking about costs and economics and/or are pretty annoyed that I took time on this blog for grassroots political commentary, a healthy society is a happier, more productive society. Think of how much more efficient and productive people are when they are healthy, and think of how inefficient people can be when feeling under the weather, have a cold, a toothache, depression, poor vision, or even worse.
LIVING A HEALTHY AMERICA
Adequate, accessible, quality healthcare coverage will help make this country….healthy.
So, I’m pretty excited that healthcare reform might pass, despite not knowing all the ins and outs of the actual legislation. I am certain that there are mistakes within those pages. Isn’t that inevitable? I’m sure there will be criticisms from all sides. That’s the power of democracy. But I can't help but go back to the words of the late Ted Kennedy, which were reiterated by his late wife Victoria Reggie Kennedy in Sunday's Washington's Post, “better to get half a loaf than no loaf at all.”
I’m excited because it’s a step in the right direction. It makes me feel like America cares. About me. And the millions of you out there who want to be healthy too.
Let’s care about the people who live amongst us. After all, we’re all human.
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