Monday, January 31, 2011

Twin pregnancy and the things people say that fill our heads

People love to share their experiences with pregnancy – giving advice, tips, and sharing their own traumatic stories. Some of it is highly constructive and positive, and some of it just isn’t.

Like did you hear the one about how someone’s rib was bruised from their child’s kicking in the third trimester? There’s something about pregnancy – and especially a twin pregnancy – that makes people feel very comfortable asking and talking about incredibly private things, and sometimes un-constructive things.

I have been finding that the experience is a true test in how I listen to others. And then what I do with it.

Here’s a popular question: Did you get IVF? Or the gentler version: Do twins run in your family? Either one of those two questions are usually asked when you first let people know that you are pregnant. I’m amazed at how people switch quickly from, “Wow, congratulations!” to basically asking how we made our babies. Uh, none of your business. I’ve come up with some fabulous responses...I have yet to use them though...I was actually prepared for that question, and answer honestly, despite wanting to be a real smart ass about it.

Everyone’s also an expert - not only on child bearing, but also on pregnancy and child rearing. I do appreciate much of the advice, but I decided early on that I can’t possibly listen to everybody. It can make any pregnant lady crazy. I read a lot and listen to those I trust, but both Lior and I will learn for ourselves when the time comes. People have been having babies for centuries, people. We can handle it. (Yes, I know it’s not about us.)

Do you know how many people have randomly informed me about the chances of delivering early with twins? I’m talking about people I barely know, and I can’t tell you what their intentions are in telling me this. But I just know when the comment doesn’t feel right.

Here’s the statistics that my high risk doctor told me: 60% of twin pregnancies deliver at 37 weeks and beyond, 30% deliver between 32 and 36 weeks, 5% between 28 and 32 weeks, and 2% between weeks 24 and 28.

So if the chances of delivering on time are at 60%, why do so many people talk about those that are early? Chances are higher that they will deliver on time and healthy. I want to focus on that.

The delivering early talk can be toxic when spoken with negative intention. I believe that people are trying to be helpful, most of the time. But I do feel strongly that talking about early delivery just fills at least this pregnant lady's head with unnecessary worries and bad energy.

I’m aiming for 38 weeks. I know we’re going to make it. That is the energy that I want to put out there for the pregnancy and these twins. If I were to think about delivering early, then I also believe that I will create the energy for it to happen.

This may sound like nonsense to some of you. But it works for me. Their delivery date is pretty much out of my control. But I can control how I monitor my blood sugars, what I eat and how much I eat, exercise within doctors’ guidelines....and how I think. I’m aiming for thoughts that create a healthy pregnancy. And it’s been working so far.

The next time you see a woman pregnant with a single, twins, triplets, or more, remember that filling her with positive energy will bring more positive energy to this world by helping her pregnancy go more smoothly. She needs, I need, all the positive support we can get!

1 comment:

  1. You're right on. People told me that my babies would be in the NICU if I delivered early. Well, I delivered over 4 weeks early and the babies were fine and no NICU time was needed. A doctor told me not to worry. He said, if you think and believe they'll be healthy, no matter what happens-then they will be. So I said to myself, My babies and I will be healthy, for certain. And it ended up that way. You have a wonderful attitude and a very good awareness about these things.