Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Confessions not to worry about

I feel bad that I'm writing and posting this blog a day late.

I am constantly fretting over how much there is to do - 9 month old twins, one with temporary special needs, a new full time job, the house, the diabetes...And I'm fretting about how much isn't getting done.

I worry about my son's health. How long will this last? Will we ever figure out what's going on with him?

And then I worry that I'm not showing him enough fun attention and that I'm not showing Aria, my daughter, enough attention.

I worry about my health. I have let some things go. I still check my blood sugars, and I still bolus insulin with my pump before meals and to correct high sugars. And I still exercise four to five times a week. But I haven't made a few doctors appointments. I've been procrastinating. And I haven't done some basal testing that is long overdue. And I have been eating lots of junk food and drinking Diet Coke again, which I had given up two years ago. My eyesight has gotten fuzzy (which may be allergies). And I haven't been attending to my hip and hands.

I worry about money. But I'm not going to get into that here.

I definitely worry that I'm doing things wrong. Not good enough syndrome. But I guess you surmised that after reading the above.

And then I worry that I worry so much....

And all of this worrying has eaten up a lot of time. And it's kept me from enjoying life more. And it probably is the biggest part of the problem. Because I bet you that everything in my life is just fine. Actually everything is great.

So why worry? I'm not sure why.

I was fretting over what to write about yesterday, surfing the web looking for answers, and I found Martha Beck's March 2012 column in Oprah magazine on 10 Things You Can Officially Stop Worrying About. The article spoke to me loud and clear. My favorite line when she spoke about how you can stop worrying about your children: "Worry teaches worry" and "People blossom when you bring love to them."

The same is true for us. Worry creates more worrisome energy. But feelings of love, abundance, and gratitude bring more love, abundance, and gratitude.

I have seen this materialize in my own life time and time again. Next time I start to worry, I'm going to do my best to remember the simple lesson of love.

Bring love to everything you do, and the worry goes away....

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